i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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