Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
