You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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