your thong is hanging out like whoa
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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