She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
