My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
