Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
