If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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