Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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