Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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