Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
