I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
