I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
