Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
