Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
