toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
