theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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