Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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