Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize