hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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