Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
