All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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