I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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