you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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