No awkward lesbian experiences without me
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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