Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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