Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
