So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
