I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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