Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
