i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
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