trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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