omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
