She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Come share oat with me in your robe
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
