Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
