This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
