Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
