i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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