im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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