my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
