went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
