Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
