so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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