shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
