Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
