so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
