I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Randomize
