If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
you didnt know i had herpes?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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