Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
