Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
are you so shy because you have an std?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
